Tonight was the first time I have allowed myself to feel vulnerable and actually experience the emotions I have been feeling about graduating from TCU. The past four years have been beyond incredible and I am so thankful to have had such a transformational time. I know that ending that part of my life and beginning a new one is something I still struggle with and it will probably take a while before I am able to accept it. My dream from my wee years up until now has been to go to TCU and become a minister. I’ve learned that achieving dreams often far exceed the expectations of the dreams and that a minister is not something you become, but something you are.
We stayed up all night sitting around the campfire. We shared our memories from the week and our memories from our time as church campers. We shared laughs and we shared food. In a similar way to our precious campers, we were able to spend our last night together in fellowship, treasuring the few moments we had left together. I stayed out until the sun came up. I’m afraid of the dark and didn’t want to walk back to my cabin alone. Around 5:35 am, I felt as though there was sufficient light and I was safe to return to my cabin. As I was walking, I was able to watch the sun rise over Lake Eerie and the Vespers area of Dunkirk. I’ve always understood sunsets to be a holy and sacred experience. Rarely, I was able to wake up early enough to truly enjoy the sunrise. Instead of going straight to bed, I sat out on the lodge porch and walked around the fence, trying to get the best possible angle of the sun rising. My camera batteries are dead and the only way to take pictures at this time was to use my phone. I took several shots in an attempt to capture the true essence of this camp and this sunrise. In every shot, the colors weren’t vivid enough and it was virtually impossible to capture what I was seeing and take it back with me.
When we go to camp, we’re in search of those mountain top experiences. We are in search of transformative and rejuvenating moments that will change our lives. We expect to meet God at camp and for God to be as blatant as possible. I’ve learned that being able to capture those mountain top experiences and take them back with us, which is virtually impossible.
While it may seem impossible to take them back exactly as we experienced, we’re able to take a small piece… a picture… a rock… a memory… anything… to remember and try to relive the same joy we had just felt. These mountain top experiences are a rare and amazing thing, yet something we should all experience in our lives. My hope is that these experiences will continue to impact all of those whose lives are touched during their time at camp, and especially at Dunkirk.
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